Welcome to The Human.
Yesterday I used my own little app that I built a few months ago, designed to help us make better, more aligned decisions. It’s designed to give us direction and the next step that adjusts to our current capacity.
It recommended that I write an article, which I’m doing now.
This app basically answers the question: How do we build from depletion? Or, in other words, how do we move forward, while adjusting to our current capacity?
By laying one brick, and detaching from the wall (outcome).
If you don’t cultivate the spark, it simply dies.
I did not count the number of times I lost faith and abandoned the process over these last few years. But did I really abandon the process, or was I just too depleted to live up to my own self-imposed standards?
That’s the point of this article.
There’s no other way around acknowledging where we are, however painful that might be, and integrating the lessons so we can keep moving forward, building back our capacity so we can keep creating from wholeness.
But the process is ugly.
At least, it is for me.
On the surface, people think I’m doing okay, but internally I’m fighting battles no one can see, levels of regret and rumination I never thought were possible.
And the spiral is devastating. The more I think, the less I act, and the fewer chances I have to find evidence that I can trust myself again, building my next, more robust identity.
Every day becomes another trial.
Every night, a little escape.
I don’t feel the same, to say the least. My ideas don’t come together effortlessly like they used to. My mind is not as sharp. I’m not as thrilled to write about topics that used to light my heart on fire.
Too disappointed... in myself, mostly.
So how do we create or build from depletion? That’s the question.
By being honest.
Speaking about what is here in front of us.
Acknowledging our current capacity.
I’m not short of ideas, but the pattern is always the same:
I become inspired by a meaningful vision.
I immediately jump to the whole system.
Complexity explodes.
The weight becomes psychological.
Overwhelm turns into avoidance.
Avoidance creates guilt.
The guilt fuels another search for the perfect answer.
The solution all comes down to one thing I asked to be taught a few years ago:
Patience.
Not passivity.
But strengthening my faith in the process by laying one brick and then the next, trusting that the wall will eventually appear. The idea is to carry the kind of brick that your system can carry at this moment.
Can I write one 300-word article? Yes.
Can I do it once a week? Yes.
Then stick to it.
Stop reinventing the wheel every other day.
It’s not easy.
Many other aspects will come into play while you do that: how you will pay your bills, whether this should turn into your main source of income or simply remain a hobby, or whether this is truly aligned with you.
You will have doubts.
You will stop a few times.
But if it’s really yours, it will keep coming back to you over and over until you find a way to make it work. Because what is meant for you in this life will always find you. It will never leave you alone.
The journey will likely evolve, however.
The core of your mission will stay the same.
And as you progress, and keep taking the next step within your current capacity, what belongs to you will become clearer.
Your only responsibility is the next brick.
The wall will take care of itself.
If this resonates, share it with someone who's walking the path back to themselves. Or leave a comment—I’d love to know what this piece evokes in you.